FAQ

Why did you start the podcast?
I wanted to do something with media other than blogging. I’ve always had a love of radio and the idea of recording intrigued me. My friend, Miette, started a podcast in 2004 and she was having fun with it. She showed me the ropes and I have been loving it ever since. I am happy to share my sexual exploits for better or worse out of a desire to inspire openness, adventure, and sexual literacy.

Are your stories true?
Unless noted in the beginning, all stories are based on true events. Because it is more important for to write a compelling story than be absolutely true to history, some details are added and subtracted. Also, all names have all been changed.

Why do you use the name Mia on Top if you are submissive?
Because a lot of things can be done to you when you are on top. Check out the conversation Greydancer, of the Ropecast, and I have on this topic.

Why do you go to sex parties?
To have fun while exploring my sexuality.

But in some of your stories you dislike the party — you don’t have a good time and sometimes, you don’t get off. So why keep going to parties?
The easiest way I can explain why I continue to go to parties: you win some, you lose some. We’ve all gone to see films that have blown us away or have bombed so hard we had to leave before the movie ended. But we keep showing up at the box office. When I go to a party that I do not enjoy I try to write about how the party could have been better and how I may have not been in the right frame of mind to indulge in my desires. And desires change. In the episode “Wanting More” I write about the orgasms of those I am with. But I do not have an orgasm at the party. In fact, my clothes remain on the entire night. This does not mean I did not have a good time. Being around people having sex and making people come is great masturbation material for me. After a good sex party, regardless of my orgasm, I am turned on for days. I believe, sometimes we do things to add new visuals to our brain, which is the largest sex organ.

Do people practice safe sex at sex parties?
Yes and no. Mostly, people have unprotected oral sex and use condoms for penetration. When I walk into a candlelight room with lots of hetero couples, it is hard to tell if people are practicing safe sex. I imagine that couples use the same safe sex practice, if any, when they are not at sex parties. Generally, there are plenty of free condoms around the party space.

Are people drunk or on drugs at parties?
Sure. Most parties are BYOB with a bartender to pour and add mixers. It is hard to let go of inhibitions so people tend to get liquored up before having sex. But regardless of ones sexual confidence people like to party. So people use whatever substance they would use when going out to a club, etc. Drug use is more discrete than drinking. At some BDSM parties no liquor is allowed. This is for the safety of all who are partaking in play. You don’t wanna be in rope suspension getting flogged by someone who is drunk and could use poor judgment. I mention my and others drunkenness, or lack there of, in most of my stories. Check out “Blow in the Bathroom” to find out the danger of getting too fucked up at a party.

How can I find sex parties in my area?
I would rely on the web. If you are attending as an unaccompanied female make sure the host will be around during the party. Attending alone can be intimidating and if the host is cool, he or she will be looking out for your best interest. Most of the parties I attend have a screening process. It can be a bit annoying to answer the questions and submit pictures in order to attend the party. But it is for your own good. I feel safer at a sex party than at a bar because I know everyone is looking out for one another. As I have written, some parties can be bad. But use those parties to find out about more. Talk to the host and the guests about other parties they attend.